We’re Going to Have to Take Your Baby

 

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Week 27, Day 1
January 15, 2016

I woke up not feeling the best.  I know my boss told me I couldn’t take the day off to see my doctor today, but I’m just not feeling well, so I called in.

By now, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been to the doctor, had my blood pressure checked, weighed and told to relax.  Easy for people who’ve never gained nearly 45 pounds with still three more months of pregnancy bliss to go to say, but nevertheless, this was the routine.

I know it’s my first pregnancy, but gaining this kind of weight, this fast is scary.  I didn’t even look like myself anymore.

I was sure that today’s doctor’s appointment would be no different. I was so wrong.

It took about 15 minutes for me to put on a pair of black leggings and a denim shirt.  My growing belly completely blocked the view of my toes.  So, I had two choices, wait for someone to put on my shoes, or roll onto the floor and then put them on lying sideways.

I know… funny, not funny.  Sad to say, that was the easy part.  The hardest was always doing my hair and putting on some form of makeup.  No matter what I did, I didn’t see this beautiful glowing woman that Ignacio swore he saw every day.

Big… no, HUGE and very uncomfortable, I struggled getting dressed for my doctor’s appointment, but made it happen and walked out with a smile on my face.  Exhausted, I kept thinking that my doctor was surely going to put me on bed rest this time.

On the ride there I rubbed my belly saying how much I loved my little Demi Jade and how I couldn’t wait to meet her.  Thinking about how much my life had already changed; I was beginning to get nervous.  Could I do this?  Will I be a great mom?  I’m sure I asked Ignacio this about a million times, and every single time he said, “Yes woman!”

We’re here.  For the millionth time I roll out the car to see my doctor.  I wonder how high my blood pressure is today?  My mom made sure she was at this appointment. I was glad she was there, because Lord knows I didn’t see this coming…

 

 

Thanksgiving weekend in Dallas, TX... HUGE

Thanksgiving weekend in Dallas, TX… HUGE

 

 

Nurse:  Ms. Dean?

I jump up from my seat… okay, so I rolled out of my seat with my mom holding my right arm and Ignacio on my left. I wobbled into the back room following the nurse with mom and Ignacio behind me.

 

 

Nurse:  How are you feeling today?

Me:  Oh I’m just really tired. But, I’m okay.

Nurse:  Let me get your weight and then we’ll check your blood pressure.

Me: Okay.  Let’s see how fat I’ve gotten.

Ignacio hated when I said that.

Nurse: okay you can step down.

Me: (looking at the large number on the scale) Are you serious? This thing says I weigh 185 pounds!

Nurse:  Yes ma’am.  That does seem high.  How much was it at your last visit?

Me:  Like 160… right?

Nurse: (flips pages on chart) Yeah… that’s right.

 

 

She had a concerned look on her face, but didn’t say anything while wrapping the cuff around my arm to check my blood pressure.

Nurse: OOH That’s way too high!

She was staring at the blood pressure monitor and so was I, Ignacio and my mom.

 

Nurse: Is everything okay? How are you feeling?

Mom: Sherie you need to tell them! This is not normal!

 

My mom was trying to stay calm, but I could tell she was scared.  Besides, she’s had three children and never has she gained weight like this or had high blood pressure.

What in the world is wrong with me?  I take the medicine and my prenatal vitamins. I’m not over eating.  I just did not understand. I mean, I am stressed out at work, but what’s happening to me?

Before I knew it my doctor was in the room.

 

Doctor: What’s going on here?

Mom:  She’s gained over 20 pounds since her last visit, her blood pressure is super high and swollen all over.

 

Ignacio is holding my hand and I’m fighting back tears.  All I want is to have a beautiful healthy baby girl. My doctor insists on checking my blood pressure again and this time I had to give a urine sample.

I’m not sure how long, but it seemed like a few short moments, my doctor rushed back into the room and told me…

“Okay so your urine has protein and your blood pressure is extremely high.  You’re not going back to work.  We’re going to have to admit you now. We’re going to have to take your baby.”

I’m not sure I heard much after that.  It’s like I had an out of body experience.  I screamed.  I couldn’t understand what she meant by, “take your baby.”  All I was thinking is, this isn’t how it goes in the What to Expect sites.  It’s too early to have her.

 

Ignacio: Calm down baby. Everything is going to be okay. Calm down.

His voice was strong, but I could tell, he was scared too.

“What do you mean take her?!” Wait… I can’t have her now. It’s not time!” I was screaming and crying. Somehow through the madness of my emotions I heard my doctor explain that I have Pre-eclampsia/Toxemia and that it’s not healthy for me or the baby… that if they don’t take her now we could both die.

The room was spinning. I was crying and holding my belly.  We we’re just supposed to have a sonogram.  How did it go from a normal regular check up to this?!  I couldn’t see my mom or Ignacio clearly through my tears, but I felt them and I heard them telling me that they were with me.

The next thing I know I’m in a hospital bed.  It seemed like 20 different doctors and nurses surrounded me. I was out of it. I’m sure I looked like a mad woman.  High on whatever medication was being shot up my arm while people explained what was happening to me.

Why are they even talking?  I’ll never remember any of it.  I heard my mother’s voice telling me she was there.  I heard Ignacio talking to the people.  I couldn’t really see anything.  My eyes had swollen shut.  My body was literally drowning in fluid…

And here comes the steroid shot.  Now I can take pain, but I wasn’t expecting this. It felt like they took a fire-filled syringe and stuck me with it.  I screamed.  Ignacio tightened his grip on my hand.

Hours had passed by, but honestly there were so many cords and tubes and stuff I didn’t even know what day it was.  Everything was dark and quiet.  I thought I was alone until Ignacio told me to stay lying on my left side.  I felt around my belly.  I was afraid my baby wasn’t there anymore.

I prayed all night long. In my deep drugged sleep, I prayed all night long for God to save me and my Demi.

 

 

Demi Jade, 6 Days Old, 1 lb 14 oz

Demi Jade, 6 Days Old, 1 lb 14 oz

 

 

 

Week 27, Day 2
January 16, 2016

Throughout the night the nurses had been checking my urine and I wasn’t releasing enough to be “out of the woods” and my blood pressure just wasn’t stabilizing so around 10 AM, doctors and nurses are crowding around me again telling me that I have to have the baby.  I start crying. I’m scared out of my mind. Ignacio is just too calm for me.  This had to be a nightmare.

The doctor told me she would take care of me like I’m her own daughter.  She even took my hands and prayed with me while I was getting an epidural.  I felt this sense of calmness and then…

“Baby…she’s here! Demi’s here baby! She’s beautiful! She’s got all five fingers and toes!”

Later on I found out that God had sent his angels to watch over me and Demi.  His sweet angels, grace and mercy were answers to the prayers of close friends and family from all over the U.S.  I heard my uncle stopped service and the whole congregation prayed for me and Demi.  I heard that Ignacio sent text messages to communicate with people and that they had prayed too.

When I woke up that Friday morning I had no idea that it could have been the last time I would see the sun rise.  I had no idea that I was that sick… a walking time bomb.  I had no idea that that weekend could have turned into a tragedy for my family had I listened to my boss and not gone to my doctor’s appointment.

It’s okay to ask questions.  Every pregnancy is different and every body is different.  When it comes to your heath… your LIFE… take care of yourself even if that means walking off your job…FINE! God will take care of you!

 

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MAMALOGUE is LSherie’s true stories of mommy life with a preemie.

Follow Demi Jade on Instagram and SnapChat @iamdemijade

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